Geanie Wants Beanies

Yes, they called me "Geanie" when I was little, somebody did anyway. I didn't learn to hate it without help. One of my fondest memories goes back to a cattle drive when all the neighboring ranchers were having dinner at our place. I would keep saying "Geanie wants beanies," because I loved beans--this was when I was not even [five] yet. Fred Schrader, an old heavy set, bowlegged rancher kept teasing me, saying "Geanie wants a beanie, Geanie wants a beanie," then being so tickled with his own joke, he hit his leg with a resounding thump. The pocket full of stick matches that he always carried burst into flame. His pants went up like a big cloud of flame and he ran for the creek screaming his head off and jumped in the creek. Tickles me to this day that he got his comeuppance.

--John Crowley (formerly Gene, Gean, and/or Geanie)